Alice Answers (TM)
on the web

Your on-line information source for advice on:
Personal Development
Mental Wellness
Taking Charge of Your Life
Recommended Reading and Resources

...

Contents

Home

Questions and Answers Home

Recommended Reading

Food for Thought

Purpose and Function

About Alice

Legal Notice

.
Questions and Answers August 2001
Updated October 20

Send your question in today to:
Alice@AliceAnswers.com

Question #3 for August:
What are your thoughts about legalization of same-sex unions/marriages?

Like the answer? Don't like the answer?
Read the follow-up question and answer in October 2001

Question #2 for August:
How exactly do you feel the United States' foreign policy is/should be handled (both economically speaking and militarily)?
(Continued discussion from points raised during July's questions)

Question #1 for August:
How we should view ourselves, as a culture?
(Continued discussion from points raised during July's questions)


Question #1 for August:
How we should view ourselves, as a culture?
(Continued discussion from points raised during July's questions)
(back to top)

To: Alice
Sent: Saturday, July 21, 2001 5:21 PM
Subject: Re: A question

First I would like to thank you for replying back to my e-mail. Let me start off by saying that I too am a realist and agree whole heatedly with your statements about the sad treatment of our elderly and children. However a few problems arise with your statements.

I simply can't agree with the statement that how we treat each other is how we should be viewed. We as a culture and society are much more and go much deeper than our treatment of ourselves. Art, music, philosophy would be a more head on means by which to judge us or any society.

But looking at your comments directly...on the surface your tug on the heart strings would have most people agreeing with you that senior citizens don't need to be locked away in nursing homes. However if we look at this from two different angles we can see otherwise: 1) On a basic level its survival of the fittest. While this may seem harsh, animals leave the sick and old (except elephants and a few others). But for the most part it happens. I know this may be a stretch but to a Darwin follower like myself I think it holds water. But 2) In the modern day rush of a world we live in not to many people have time to care for the elderly much less their immediate family. We can't blame the typical suburban family for not being able to care for relatives. Its just something that our society has twisted us into. We are stuck in the rat race. But here is where I agree with you 100%.....that the declining morals of our society is the true reason for our inhumanity. We are so caught up in ourselves and doing just what benefits us that we fail to see the harm we are doing. But hey I guess that's what capitalism does to ya.  :-) (too much of a good thing).

On the elected officials argument I would agree that we have too many officials who are just plain out right immoral and sick. But I would have to say that in the past our officials weren't as immoral. Granted that most bad things were hidden but all in all our officials were a better batch than what we have today. This also harkens back to the landslide of our value system. The latter half of your reply seems too idealistic. You call yourself a realist then claim that we need to examine ourselves and hold onto our morals. Well easier said than done. I, looking at it more realistic, feel that all is lost. Well not like that...but the slow painful death of the environment and morals will be our downfall (Especially the former). And only something monumental (famine, nuclear war etc) will knock some sense into us.

Alice Answers:

Thanks for your response and very interesting points. I do not agree with some of your statements however, let me explain. In my opinion, art, music, and philosophy are the three aspects of human creativity that give life much of its depth and meaning. I agree with you that they are very representative of cultural status and change. However, I am aware that the number of producers and consumers of art and philosophy are miniscule compared to the whole of society. Using them as representative of the whole seems to me extremely romantic and idealistic, and not at all realistic.

Don't forget, you asked me about the masses, not the chosen, educated few.

Music is more pervasive an art form, but as we have already established, not the only or best medium for judging ourselves as a people/society. I maintain that it is as I have said previously (the elderly, infirm, and young), simply because I am aware that what we do and how we behave/function when the "chips are down", when "times are tough", when life is most difficult and poses its greatest challenges, is the true measure of who we are and where we are going.

In item 1. you compared us to animals and stated survival of the fittest. I think that as human animals we have the ability of higher thought processes that go beyond mere survival. We can therefore recognize the give and take process and reciprocal benefits to young and old alike. To attach ones thought processes to pure Darwinism or any other particular "ism" seems to me to look at life and the world with a blunted awareness. I think there are many relevant philosophical viewpoints and contemplating life by looking at the "big picture" requires an eclectic approach as well as time and energy.

In item 2. you are really restating my earlier point. The "modern day rush, not having time to care for the elderly or immediate family can and must be blamed on typical suburban America. It is the direct result of our selfishness and self-centeredness. You say it is something our society has twisted us into. Who do you think our society consists of, it is us, we, you and me, and every other individual out there who sees him or herself as a separate disconnected entity. We fail to recognize our interconnectedness and are not willing to live lives of interdependence, (not to be confused with passive dependence, that's an illness). We don't have to be stuck in this rat race.

Then you blame it all on capitalism. Would you prefer socialism, or communism, talk about the few in control of the many, no thank you. I am for free enterprise, personal self responsibility, human dignity, the opportunity to go out there and do what you believe in and earn what you want by your wits and the sweat of your brow. I can say these things because I was raised by depression era immigrants who taught me those values, and I have overcome seemingly insurmountable odds to get where I am today, and I am pretty proud of that. Don't tell me its not out there, and you can't get it, anyone can. The problem is that along the way we forget where we came from, and that the most important thing in the world is your family. A friend recently called me a pioneer woman, I wouldn't go that far, but close. :o)

And finally, I don't understand how you can say it is too idealistic or unrealistic to examine ourselves and hold onto our moral values. One of the most sobering and painful human experiences you can ever have is to fully and honestly examine yourself, I say this from personal experience.

According to Dr. Peck in The Road Less Traveled true introspection is very difficult, he says that most of us prefer to examine the world without rather than the world within because it is less painful.

I do not believe that all is lost, there are many people striving for a better world, and if we continue to strive and teach our young how to think critically and independently, we will survive. That's not to say that nothing is wrong, many things are wrong, and those of us who recognize these things must speak and act.

Thanks for your comments.

Alice


Question #2 for August:
How exactly do you feel the United States' foreign policy is/should be handled (both economically speaking and militarily)?
(Continued discussion from points raised during July's questions)
(back to top)

To: Alice
Sent: Monday, July 02, 2001 11:41 PM
Subject: Re: A question

...How exactly do you feel the United States' foreign policy is/should be handled (both economically speaking and militarily). I, for one, am under the belief that we as a nation have extended ourselves far too thin and as such are putting ourselves in a state that we will soon find hard to get out of (i.e. Bosnia, Colombia, etc). It is as if the way we are viewed internationally proves my point perfectly...we are too imperialistic. Just wondering what your take is.

Alice Answers:

Now to respond to your political question which was: How exactly do you feel the United States' foreign policy is/should be handled (both economically speaking and militarily)?

I must say that my political views are likely as conservative and straightforward as my moral and ethical views. I agree with you, I think we are too imperialistic, we spend too much time and energy sticking our national nose in the affairs of other countries. My approach is simple and straightforward, it may seem harsh to some but it is clear and consistent across the board, and that is what I think is required. We have no business forcing our belief systems either politically or morally on other countries, whatever they do within the confines of their borders is their business. Unfortunately, this includes civil and human rights violations and abuses, we have to take the bad with the good. The only time we should intervene is when other countries pose a threat to our nation or those of our allies. We have every right to say what we think about their policies and treatment of their citizens. We can refuse to trade with countries who practice civil and human rights violations and abuses, we certainly do not have to condone such behaviors, but we should not go beyond that i.e., we should not use military force for these purposes. We certainly would not want other countries coming over here trying to intervene in our internal affairs. We must protect and maintain whatever measure of sovereignty we have left and respect that of other countries. We should not be "wishy washy" in regards to these issues, trying to talk out of both sides of our mouths, we must take a stand and stick by it, that's what principals and values are all about. There is always a trade off or down side to everything.

Militarily you are right again, we are spread far to thin and must spend time and resources rebuilding the a sound standing military infrastructure, which unfortunately has been lost in the last eight years. Like it or not, human nature requires it, we must be able to protect ourselves at all times.

Economically I think we are in a real mess with regards to foreign trade policy. We are no longer producers of goods, the majority of goods we consume are produced overseas and as a result the gap between the haves and have nots in this country is widening alarmingly. Having said this, I must admit that I am not very well versed in the economic issues and do not pretend to have an answer as to what should be done about it. Perhaps you would be willing to tell me what you think should be done about these issues.

As always, thank you for your challenging and thought provoking dialogue.

Alice


Question #3 for August:
What are your thoughts about legalization of same-sex unions/marriages?
Like the answer? Don't like the answer?
Read the follow-up question and answer in October 2001

(back to top)

----- Original Message -----
To: <Alice@aliceanswers.com>
Sent: Friday, August 10, 2001 2:44 PM
Subject: Question

Alice: what are your thoughts about legalization of same-sex unions/marriages?

Alice Answers:

This is a multi faceted question and there are many ways of looking at the issue. I think there is a bit of subjectivity involved based on the sexual orientation and motivation of the individual considering the question. There are legal, situational, and social issues to be considered also, such as, where estate properties would go in the event of the death of one of the parties, medical insurance coverage for the spouse, how we are viewed and responded to socially. These are big issues of concern for many persons and not to be taken lightly.

I personally view same-sex relationships as being fundamentally the same as heterosexual relationships with regard to the dynamics involved. I'm aware that the partners share equally deep intimacy, affection, intensity of emotion, care and concern for each other, similar issues of relationship struggle... I have friends who are of same sex unions who own homes, have jobs, and carry on quite "normal" lives. 

They should not be legally prevented from living together, as some rarely enforced laws that are still on the books in some areas of the country maintain. 

Given all that I have said however, I do not think that same-sex marriages should be legalized. I think that marriage is a separate institution ordained by God in recognition and celebration of the unique relationship/union between a man and a woman. Believe it or not, like it or not, men and women are different. We have different strengths and weaknesses, abilities, likes/dislikes, desires, perspectives, approaches, emotional experiences... we truly are different. The ordination of this relationship is, in my mind, intended to combine these qualities into a beautiful duet dance, in which the man and woman walk side by side, admiring and appreciating each other, working, living, and growing together - emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually, celebrating the uniqueness each brings to the union, combined to make one pretty damn good human being.

I realize that this all sounds pretty romantic, unrealistic, and not at all "politically correct". But I can say it with such absolute conviction because I experience it daily. And I thank God for it daily. We have our differences, we have our struggles, and sometimes the best we can do is agree to disagree, but the fundamentals are in place and that gets us through. I believe that this is the way God intended and ordained it, and whatever is not ordained by God, must not be ordained by humanity.

There is another type of marriage, secular/civil marriage. This is in my mind a human made offshoot of the original intent of God, and I still don't think that same-sex marriages should be legalized in that arena. This is simply because as far back as recorded human history (correct me if I am wrong, show me proof) marriage has been a religious rite ordained by God, and as such must remain so.

I realize that this may not be what you wanted to hear, but I think first and foremost, we all must have a good basis/foundation for our convictions and stand by them. I am not concerned with being "politically correct", or telling people what I think they wish to hear, I am more concerned with what is right, true, and just. Regardless of what others may espouse, truth, justice, and what is right are not subjective transient things, they are stable over time and circumstance. There are just a few basic truths with which we must clear up the many gray areas our civilizations have created and move forward.

...

.

Last updated on August 20, 2001.
You are visitor
  since August 9, 2001

AliceAnswers and AliceAnswers.com are trademarks of Alice M. Edwards. In addition, the entire contents of this site are copyright (c) 2001 by Alice M. Edwards unless otherwise noted; and can not be used, except for review purposes, without the written permission of Alice M. Edwards